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5.17.26

on Monday, i grated up some of the koko that my brother brought back from Hawai'i to make koko alaisa - a family favourite. i also sawed off a chunk of koko to gift to Wilson & Hanisa at Wairua because the last time i brought them a piece, it was several years old x^D (probably still okay, but less flavourful.)

that evening, ~wingy and i hosted what might be the last Hourglass event before the grant funding ends. it was a redo of the Iris Moore 'cycles of life & death' animation showcase that i coordinated around this time last year... and missed because i got super sick. i heard that it was a magical night later, and had been really wanting to have another chance to actually be present.

i was feeling pretty worn out before the event started, but when we got things set up and people began to arrive, i started soaking up all the good energy (Spirit Bomb style basically haha). anyway, after sorting out some technical issues, i got the films set up and switched over to emcee mode for the first half of the night. stop-motion and singalongs are a really nice pairing, and people were glowing by the end. i was also so excited to learn that Iris is making a book based on her end-of-life portrait series!

for the second half, Iris flipped the hourglass and we tried out a new 'life & death' conversation game that i'd thought up a couple of days before - and it worked out really well! the group was really well-rounded, and we went in some very interesting, deep directions.

a wholesome evening - and we zonked hard that night. (p.s. all of Iris' short films are free to stream online: vimeo.com/irislmoore)

Tuesday was Birds & Mammals day back at RBCM and i also ended up joining a rare gathering where i had a chance to meet volunteers from 'the other side' (public facing roles), and was surprised to see Dakota in the circle (new summer staff). she and i originally met at the 'What the Wild Taught Me' storytelling event, where she shared a story about orcas and i found out that she works for Ross Bay Cemetery. then we ran into each other again at the CREAN Ancestry & AI conference. suffice it to say that we have reasons to talk & maybe collaborate!

that afternoon, Kate and i met Anna C for a much-anticipated picnic at míqәn, where we chatted under a Garry oak and many dangling caterpillars who we had to keep rescuing from landing in our salad. it was such a sweet time, and Kate & i finally had a chance to share more of our backstory from the Humm Hill / sx̣ʷət̕č̕əlíéw̕txʷ era.

on Wednesday, Kate and our new friend / @softercomputing member Eli went tidepooling, and i joined for a tiny Merlin's Barrow adventure that led us to the most amazing natural little fairy door at the base of a tree, where a ladder of mushrooms leads up to an entrance hole with a sawdusted spiderweb that looks just like a little porch / rug. total magic.

later that day, Kate and i stopped by Print Hole to deliver a pad of the deluxe paper that i got the deal of a lifetime on recently. i'm planning on doing my first riso project with Austin very soon. when we got home, Kate decided to gift me some amazing early b-day treasures that are related to my passion for riso and ecology / decay.

that night, we had a busy board meeting at Little Fernwood that also reminded me why i want to continue to be a member for another year if i can. such a great, sweet, hardworking community.

Thursday, i set aside some time to put together my first crude, simple spider zine! it's a eulogy for the first spider that i ever learned to love.

that afternoon was perhaps our last chance to visit Dev & Rek before they sail off for the summer, so we stopped by the Pino in the evening with a couple of softer drinks, zines, and our microseasons book as going-away gifts. more sweet, wholesome chats over tea followed, and Dev gave me their awesome new 'Interaction Nets Pocket Computer' zine (wiki.xxiivv.com/site/interaction_nets.html) that i'm excited to tinker with over the summer.

this was a shorter visit than last time because Kate and i were going to joining our friend Jonathan (of Softer Drink) for his birthday dinner at March! i'd suggested the idea to Andrea because her and Jonathan had recommended the restaurant months ago and the timing kept not working out. anyway, we marched to March and were joined by Andrea, Anna J, Dani, and Saleh (in addition to the birthday boy).

after a bit of a wait, a grand feast ensued that lived up to the hype. we also ended up having a deep dive conversation about sleep paralysis and dreams in general. i was surprised when Andrea asked everyone one of my favourite questions: do you ever dream about being on your phone / computer?

oh, and Anna asked us about our connections to Japan - so we did our best to answer in a concise way. i was also thinking that it would be a nice exercise for Kate and i to write out our Japan stories while on the flight there - we'll see...

back to the dinner: the night gulls were out in full force by the time we emerged, and Kate had an opportunity to demonstrate her now-famous 'Scream Like A Gull' calls before we all parted ways.

Friday night was the return of SCCTV! Eli, @jeffy, and Anna J joined Kate and i for creative ASCII and another couple of Computer Chronicles episodes (S16E31 & S13E17) over tea and popcorn. we also admired Jeffy's amazing Hall of Fame (jeffy.ca/hall_of_fame), as well as Eli's sweet Hotglue website (3li6.hotglue.me). Dev had planned to join this time around as well, but unfortunately had a rough day. i'm saving their favourite episode for sometime after they return in autumn hehe

on Saturday, i finally managed to get uxn running on my old aleutia t1 computer thanks to some help from Dev! the t1 was my first tinkering computer, and along the way, lost its ability to connect to the internet. i learned a lot about installing stuff to an offline computer along the way to getting uxn on there. my plan has been to turn it into a softer computer for townsfolk, and it's coming along nicely.

that night, Kate and i finally got to attend the finished version of The Comeuppance! i had heard that some of my feedback during the rehearsal had been taken to heart and was so honoured to see my name on the program, and to see my suggestions come to life on the stage. i've been really feeling the draw of theatre this year... anyway, the production was excellent and the performances so good! it's truly a play that i wouldn't mind seeing a few times. kudos to Misty and the entire crew for bringing such a unique, cool personification of Death to life!

today, i visited Andy at Cavity and we discussed the possibility of having a 'community credit' pool there for softer townsfolk. i've accumulated quite a lot from trades and have been thinking of doing something along these lines for a while. Andy was really into the idea, and i think i'll make some special cards later this week.

i'm also going to have a Library of Death shelf there soon - a dream come true! he even kindly offered to make some custom display elements for it, which is so sweet. there's also some potential for me to have a booth at a metal festival that he'll be running in the late summer, which would be so cool.

finally, we talked about a potential crossover between softer computing club and the Commodore 64 group that sometimes meets at Cavity to play super difficult C64 games. this, again, would be an amazing opportunity. either way, i'm determined to host some scc events there.

meanwhile, eight months of web work is coming to an end, and i'm looking forward to shifting my energy elsewhere for the summer...

ok, that might be my last big memory dump before Kate and i head to Japan... just one more big event day this upcoming Saturday, and then i'm switching to full-on birthday / trip mode :^o

5.10.26

on Wednesday, ~wingy, Cedric, and i visited Dev & Rek on the Pino for sweet, thoughtful chats and laughs. we had a chance to flip through some of their zine collection and worked on a few collaborative doodles together. an inspiring and wholesome time. we also met Little Ninj, and were starstruck!

we're hoping to stop by again to see them before they set sail for the summer. it'd also be so cool to collaborate on a softer computing event when they're back in town in autumn.

Thursday was the final day for The Library of Death pop-up at The Ministry of Casual Living, and it was bittersweet, but i'm feeling ready to shift gears for the season ahead. Kate and Anna J graciously volunteered to host the latter half of the final shift, and did an amazing job packing up while i attended a storytelling event at Nova Arts Hub. deep gratitude.

at Nova, i reconnected with Sabrina who runs climate resilience events, and who might collaborate with me on a climate & death event at some point. i was also delighted to hear that Ignacio, who i'd met at the maskmaking workshop, had been astonished to see a ballooning spider. this story was carried by Mo, whose graphic recordings i'd previously seen around. i recommended that everyone read Charlotte's Web.

on Friday, our friend Shane in Leitrim invited others to take a nature stroll in honour of David Attenborough's birthday, so Kate and i looped through míqәn (Beacon Hill Park) and had many joyful encounters along the way. we later watched Project Hail Mary (against my brother's advice) and most of my emotional connection to the film revolved around the spiderlike alien, who reminded me of my spider friends. i didn't care for the added voice though.

i've been recently reconnecting with my past life at Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co by rewatching Contact and Interstellar with Kate. back in the day, these films were foundational to me, and revisiting them rekindled a sense of cosmic perspective that i used to contemplate daily.

meanwhile, back on Earth, we had also forgotten to buy tickets to the second listening event at Burrow, and were feeling super tired. zonked hard that night.

Saturday, wingy scruffhead performed at a plant sale while i joined my friend Keira's community garage sale, and ended up picking up a great monitor to use for softer computing stuff. i also got to meet an artist named Kelsey, who had visited The Library of Death on a day that i wasn't there and was selling a cute little $2 handmade fairy house that i couldn't resist.

after returning to pick up Kate at the plant sale, i visited the Green Muse booth, where Anna introduced me to Leanne, a former death companion turned adventurer. Kate also introduced me to Liz from the Bug Zoo, who told me about how chestnut flowers change colours depending on whether or not they still have nectar to offer to bees!

we headed off to míqәn for the World Migratory Bird Day celebration, where Kate entered the Scream Like A Gull competition. personally, i think she had the most authentic gull impression both last year and this year, but the judges seem to have a bias towards screechier contestants... anyway, she still got a great commemorative enamel pin for the occasion. she also got interviewed by a few news outlets as well as Trenton & Jameson from Special Bird Service, who are always such a warm, funny pair.

meanwhile, i connected with Teale, who works with our local Placemaking Network and maps out the Little Free Libraries in the area. may collaborate to set up a Little Free Library of Death later this year. he's also on the board with the public library system here, who i've also been considering collaborating with in some way or another for Library of Death stuff. we'll see...

5.5.26

Tuesday was Jaden's last day at Birds & Mammals before she moves to Nevada, and we had one last Wingspan with the Tuesday crew (minus ~wingy, who was in Vancouver) in the Learning & Engagement area, thanks to Chris' invitation to upgrade. it was a fun session, but with a layer of sadness underneath as we prepared to say farewell to our dear friend - & amidst the imminent end of such a sweet era at RBCM. all good things ⌛️

then on Wednesday evening, i attended a rehearsal for The Comeuppance - a play narrated by Death, which i've been invited to advise on (re: personification of death). i had previously read most of the script, but decided to leave the ending as a surprise. suffice it to say that i very much enjoyed the performance and felt a surreal sense of connection to the whole thing. i gave some feedback that seems to have been useful for refining the final performance, which Kate and i will be attending next weekend. i also walked away with a few books: The Summer of the Ubume, Consider The Lobster, and Hamnet - from Misty's downsizing giveaway.

on Thursday, the "Good Grief" show opened at The Ministry of Casual Living and many more cool folks came to visit The Library of Death. i showcased some grief-specific resources that we have, and had my own work on display for the show as well. i'm generally not drawn to being a gallery artist, but figured i might as well since i have some wall space at MoCL right now. i've also been feeling bad about not giving my work more time to breathe out in the world beyond my closet.

Marae volunteered to hold the space for the second half of the evening while i dashed off to Nova Arts Hub for Kyra Royo Fay's "Mask Making With{in}vasives: Reflections On Ancestral Migration" workshop. this prompt felt like destiny when it popped up on my radar, and really delivered on that promise. after a beautiful introductory exercise that brought out a lot of grief in me from my stewardship era, we introduced ourselves before getting to the mask making portion. we used Scotch broom, gorse, and wheatpaste to construct our masks - and i based mine on tiny, cute insects that were crawling all over the tables after being displaced from their homes in the broom. this was amazing to me, as i'd never witnessed any species really interacting with the plant. i later learned that these were broom psyllid nymphs, who exclusively feed on Scotch broom. i managed to rescue one but the others vanished...

Friday, i headed to Seattle to spend time with my family, who are all migrating to Boise. and honestly, this visit, i really felt how much Seattle has changed since i left eight years ago - and not in a good way... one example: there was literally a dumpster on fire next to a restaurant we were picking up food from. a little on the nose, but yeah... lots of sad, strange feelings, revisiting a place both familiar and alien at this point. anyway, it was still a really nice family visit, and Kate joined us the next day. we played mini golf with my nephews for their birthday, during which an osprey(?) circled/dived/splashed down nearby, and had a nice picnic in the park afterwards.

also, at an intersection on the way to mini golf, a crow swooped down to land next to us and proceeded to chase a mouse between the cars, zigzagging around, and managed to corner/catch it just as the light turned green. pair this with the fact that Kate had just seen a crow chasing a rat in Vancouver, and earlier in the week, i had stumbled across a comments section describing how good crows are at catching rats, and you'll understand our layered sense of synchronous wonder.

oh, and i ran into Yumi, an acquaintance from various Japanese events, on the Clipper, and we had a really sweet chat about her ceramics work and the funding application circuit.

my dad also gave me a belated Christmas / early birthday gift - a Basquiat jacket - which he chose because of the deathy art & similarity between our names. for some strange reason, i've only ever admired Basquiat's work from afar, but he's one of those artists who seems like *such* the artist i would have idolized in my younger years. i went on to learn that he died the year that i was born at age 27... and all of the death-themed art... i mean, yeah, very strange that we didn't get connected until now, but also maybe it's just the right time.

~☯~

on the ferry ride back, i spotted a pod of maybe eight or nine orcas. later, i learned that my sister had dreamt of seeing about eight orcas the previous night, and my mom had told her it as a sign that i would see orcas on my journey home. me, orcas, and Orcus seem to be having a thing lately... hmm...

ok! weekly memory workout complete. [5/6 edit: or so i thought...]

4.26.26

today, now:

Mao, a dear friend of twenty years is visiting from Japan, where she's originally from and been studying folk traditions there for seven. many wandering conversations about the past, present, and future - and of gratitude, grief, and trade-offs.

last week:

_monday

after helping Alfred troubleshoot computer confusion, we headed to St Cecilia to visit Andrew, who bakes there on Mondays. meandering chats and a convergence of worlds.

_tuesday

World Curlew Day. ~wingy & i celebrated with our fellow Curlew & Shrew crew members at RBCM by wandering the Natural History Gallery together, and exploring a secret room there. now like a dream. later, we met Anna C at Softer Drink for sweet sips & chats.

_wednesday

met Jess at The Library of Death - a manifestation of a conversation that we'd had a year ago. heartful catch-ups woven with lifedeath reflections.

_thursday

a day of meetings and plans. picked up an amazing deal on paper to be used for my first Print Hole project (tba). later, met new volunteer Ari at The Library of Death to get him oriented, before i dashed off to meet Kate at Alfred's dreamwork workshop. incense memories of Travelers. after that, dropped by Gwagwadaxla's sweet zine launch and had more wholesome chats. came home to a delightful email from ~flexvolcanic.

also got a parking ticket, yay. (slightly contestable.)

_friday-today

wandering about town with Mao - RBCM collection tour with Jody, inner harbor walk, Uchida lunch, Jagasilk & surreal encounter with Jung Society, Beacon Hill walk, visited Anna C, home tour, Clover Point tidepooling, Gorge Pavillion Park, Market Garden, Sankaku, The Library of Death, Green Muse, Softer Drink, Wairua, the Strange Hour (ran into Ciaran), Jones BBQ, Compost Education Centre (stumbled across Taylor painting a mural), Fernwood, Island Eko Pantry party, gave Yasu a ride to Molly's b-day party at St Ann's Academy (spotted Alfred on the way), Cavity, home.

got another parking ticket, yay. (this time highly contestable.)

4.20.26

the past couple of weeks have stretched, sprinted, and sloshed around - in a not unpleasant way overall.

my first test run of Defence Against The Digital Dark Arts came to an end, and was a good impetus for me to start building a toolkit addressing dystopian tech. so many wonderful resources out there that i've been pulling together, while also reconnecting with the past life in which i was more rooted in Situationist-adjacent and radical tech art circles. i'm planning to teach more workshops in this vein later, and to release the toolkit into the public commons.

at Birds & Mammals, we played through a full round of Wingspan, and @wingy and i are finally getting the hang of it. that being said, the build-up towards the great RBCM migration is ramping up, and Jaden, one of our dear Tuesday crew members, is moving back to Oregon at the end of this month. so we're planning to spend World Curlew Day savouring our time together as the Curlew & Shrew Crew :,^)

Kate and i have also officially set-up The Library of Death at The Ministry of Casual Living, and have had some really wholesome chats with visitors. the space feels like a proper, cozy reading room, with tea and art/crafts. and this past Saturday was the big VIVAS art crawl, which brought a couple hundred people through to test out the space. the response was enthusiastic, and we're looking at possibilities for a longer-term library - perhaps joining up with our friend Anna from Green Muse Herbs to create a Library of Plants & Death, which would be amazing 🌱💀

the second Bar Tender event happened at Softer Drink and i was able to join for the tail end - mostly standing out front, chatting with Cece, Jonathan, and Jeffrey. inside, Saleh was spinning some cool vaporwave records, and i started having flashbacks to the early days of the genre & my first encounter with 0PN, etc. some days later, i decided to listen through an old data disc from 2010, and lo and behold, Memory Vague and others from that era played through skipping scratches (alongside Modest Mouse, Animal Hospital, silent land time machine, etc - very me-then, and still kind of todaynow).

i met up with my friend Kikila the next day at Wairua for a proper chat outside of HAT. photos of he and i chatting have been printed in at least a couple of HAT Annual Reports, because we'd always hit it off, but we hadn't had a chance to really sit and talanoa. i also hadn't seen him in a couple of years until we both attended the W̱SÍ¸ḴEM Ivy gathering last month. anyway, it was a sweet, wide-ranging conversation, which interestingly centered a bit on a nostalgic yearning the lockdown/pandemic 'slowdown' period - opportunities/experiences of that time now elusive and arguably unattainable.

softer town convened at Softer Drink once again, and welcomed our newest @softercomputing member, Samantha. this time we made labelmaker nametags, member punchcards, and dipped our toes into the command line. i really started feeling the old SMCC vibes echoing across time, and later was astonished to find that coolguy.website has been updated with a new aesthetic! Zach is back, and the timing couldn't be more synchronous. i assigned everyone to work through The Map is The Territory between now and our next town hall.

meanwhile, i continued to make some awkward mistakes with posting to the public feed at merveilles.town. a lot of the Mastodon interface and functionality is very unintuitive to me, maybe especially so since i was never really a twitter person. it's also a lot faster-paced there than i'm used to. definitely makes me feel like a rural hermit staggering around the city in a bit of a daze. anyway, it's a good challenge, and i think i've finally gotten more of a hang of it. through the process, i ended up deciding that it was time to 'balloon' my spider posts to a proper weblog of their own.

this month's SCCTV at NeighbourSpace ended up being a good opportunity for Kate and i to rest a bit and workshop some stuff for next month. i was sad to discover that the CD player in the giant old boombox there doesn't seem to work. but the tape player and radio do, so that's nice.

for Jeffrey's birthday, Kate and i both made different interpretations of a 'dream ruby' that he had described to us. she made one out of paper with a worm url embedded, and i finally got around to learning how to use PicoCAD to make a low-poly spinning ruby that manifested over the wifi. the party itself was a homemade banquet of akara, za'atar, lentils, chocolate cake, and more, paired with lots of talk about the differences between generations. Jeffrey also played a cool mix of songs by some of his favourite musicians from when they were his age.

later that week, i had a Library of Death interview with Miranda Newman and it was really wholesome. she's working on a book about how people are finding ways to build community around death. i'm definitely getting more used to answering questions about this project and owning the 'head librarian' designation. i know my late aunt, lifelong librarian, is delighted about this whole chapter. in the evening, Kate and i were in the pop-up space at MoCL, getting things ready for the big art crawl event on Saturday. unfortunately, we were too tired afterwards to join our friend Marae's sexy pollinator birthday dance party. Kate had made some amazing, elaborate outfits for us - but we'll definitely have another chance to debut them.

on the big Library of Death x art crawl day (Einstein & Gustave Moreau's death-day), so many people from different areas of my life converged in what now feels like a strange dream - sort of like a crossroads between different lives. i also connected with some really sweet, cool new people and am curious to see how things unfold from here.

in the evening, we attended the soft launch event at Burrow, a new listening space run by friends of Andrea & Jonathan, and it only added to the already surreal day of worlds/lives converging. the space itself felt kind of womb-like, warm with soft textures, gentle lights, and ambient music. now that i write about it, that day honestly feels like a nice dream one might have before passing on to some afterlife. or maybe that is a possible afterlife? hmm...

and then Kate and i had a nice Sunday noneday :^)

4.5.26

last Sunday afteroon, i had an opportunity to visit Ken Josephson and Maleea Acker at the UVic mapping collaboratory headquarters while they cleared the space out (end of an era). Maleea had invited me after our 'Nature-Based Design' event chat, and very generously offered to gift me one of Erin Robinsong & Merlin Sheldrake's beautiful 'Return Address' zines.

i had met Ken years ago (pre-pandemic) when i was hosting Community Socials downtown for the Social Autonomy Project, and was looking for large maps of Victoria that people could gather around to discuss community spaces. i remembered his office being full of maps, plants, art, and other cool curios, and him being so welcoming, fashionable, and kind. such a character, who i've since learned has been at UVic for 45 years!

after doing a bit of clearing and deliberating, we sat and chatted about some of the memories attached to things now moving out the door, and the challenge of letting objects go that have so much personal history and unique beauty. i could really feel the community energy embedded there, and was grateful to have an opportunity to visit during this time.

we also talked about the community mapping project that i've been wanting to bring to life for several months. Ken gave me some great suggestions and i feel like i'm getting close to at least a first draft in the not-too-distant future!

then on Monday, @wingy and i joined our friend Alfred for a meditative writing exercise. the goal is basically to set aside structure and intention to see what might flow out. not quite stream of consciousness - more related to automatic writing. we wrote in several segments, and afterwards discussed how the experience changed each time - but didn't read our writing out loud.

that evening, we hosted Defence Against The Digital Dark Arts and met a cool new softer town member named Samantha who shared some really resonant experiences and insights. honestly, it was a bit of a shock and delight to meet someone who i don't already know who's interested in this stuff.

Tuesday, we met with Karla Kerr over tea to chat about the Doing Death Different market that'll be happening at the end of May, and about potentially collaborating on an Hourglass session in June. it was so nice to have a chance to sit down with Karla for a proper chat, especially since she has so much experience in the 'death trade'.

later that night, i stopped by a 'Tea & Mortality' event that she was hosting at a nearby restaurant. i couldn't stay too long, but sipped tea and munched on baklava while chatting with an older woman about various deathy things. it was a sweet conversation, but unfortunately the space was quite noisy, so one person left overwhelmed. always hard to gauge with certain spaces until you try them out. anyway, still a nice little event, and i look forward to collaborating with Karla in the future.

Wednesday morning, i traded in some more books at Russell, catching up with Lesley, who's probably gone though about 100 books from me now & knows a bit of the history. always a pleasure. after that, i chatted with the person in charge of consignment about potentially stocking some copies of @wingy & i's microseasons book there. she was really into it, and it sounds like we'll be on the shelf there soon!

later that afternoon, i had been invited to my friend Keira's mystery play readthrough at Intrepid Theatre, and it was so sweet! a small group of us gathered around a table in the lobby at the beginning to highlight different characters' scripts, and did an initial readthrough. i won't get into the details, since it's still hush hush, but there are many creatures involved, and i ended up being Eagle and Beaver. it was fun!

as time went on, more friends from her network trickled in. so many lovely people, and a few familiar faces. we all shared a feast of food catered by Bold Butcher, and got to know each other better. wholesome chats all around.

after dinner, we headed into the theatre space proper, formed a big circle, and did a larger readthrough with maybe 30 people. this time, people really got into their roles, and we had such a lovely time. most of the performers had no prior experience, but i think we did very well! it helps that the story and script are really solid and intriguing.

looking forward to seeing how the finished version eventually manifests!

after that, i dashed off to Little Fernwood to see Jeffrey perform as Pesewa, opening for Elisa Thorn. the space was comfortably filled, and our friend (& fellow spider-lover) Taylor was at the door, and many other friends were gathered inside.

Jeffrey's set was enchanting as always, and you could feel the concentration in the room. Softer Drink were also there with the best bevs as always, and i had a chance to catch up with my dear friend Phoebe who i hadn't seen in some months.

i enjoyed Elisa Thorn's set, but to be honest, it wasn't really my cup of tea - which is odd, since i have a history of people obsessed with harpists, and had coincidentally been revisiting Joanna Newsom's work earlier that day. but yeah... i liked it, but there were certain aspects that didn't really capture me.

on Saturday, @wingy and i started officially setting things up for the Library of Death pop-up at The Ministry of Casual Living. we've been feeling so grateful to Ash for inviting us into the space and being so accommodating. it has always been a dream to have a more consistent space where people can visit us, and this seems like the natural path to a more permanent future location (in the works!).

(we'll also have a similar one-off pop-up during the Doing Death Different market at the end of May)

okay, tapping out now! ~_~

{ written while listening to Jonathan & Andrea's Softer Drink set on Public Assembly (CFUV), followed by Colleen's "Libres antes del final" on a handheld recorder piped into a speaker }

((~* bliss & chills *~))

3.29.2026

last Thursday, i felt a bit like Mario or some other outfit-transforming character, as I swapped back and forth between my Habitat Acquisition Trust hat and my Library of Death hat. i made my way from a presentation about 'Nature-Based Design' at RBCM (HAT hat), to a rehearsal at Little Fernwood for a play directed by Misty Cozac where Death is personified (LoD hat), to Sarah Jim's Native Plant Study Group talk (HAT hat, again).

all three events resonated with the creative practice that i've been cultivating around interrelationality, and i left each feeling nourished and inspired in different ways.

Friday was full-on web work day. that season is definitely coming to an end for me. many lessons learned, and good growth, but it's time to move on...

Saturday morning, I took @wingy up to Canoe Cove and was delighted to learn that our friend Cedric was driving the water taxi for the first time in many months. on our way into the marina, i had been wistfully reminiscing about bygone days and our time with Guy. we met Cedric after Guy had to step away from Sea Star, and became fast friends. anyway, it was delightful to chat with Cedric for a bit before i had to head out.

i later learned/realized that Jason Brown of holyscapes had come aboard before i departed. he and i had discussed the personhood of oaks at a Swan Lake Nature Sanctuary workshop some years ago. hopefully we'll have another chance to reconnect.

instead of continuing on to the shrine with everyone else, i headed to volunteer at Sarah Jim's W̱SÍ¸ḴEM Ivy Project. it was fun to navigate there by intuition, my favourite method of travel. (i also had my HAT hat on again.)

i arrived early to a soundscape of birdsong at the end of a dusty, rural road.

shortly after, a car parked nearby and two figures emerged - one who i'd met at Sarah Jim's NPSG talk, and the other who seemed familiar in the 'is that? no, couldn't be' kind of way. but once we gathered at the meeting point, i found that it was indeed my old friend Kikila! he used to work at HAT, and we always ended up having sweet, long chats together. a warm reunion ensued.

as more and more people trickled in, the warm energy increased between old faces and new. Jameson and Trenton also made an appearance, which was great because i've only previously had very short opportunities to chat with them.

we formed a large circle (30?) and introduced ourselves, with an optional ancestry prompt. i usually skim past that because 1) i prefer to talk about my relationships with other species/forms and 2) it's a loooong, complicated story. but this time felt called to share in more detail and tried to walk a balance between these two aspects. later, i had some nice chats with people whose curiosity was piqued. (on a side note, it has been feeling right to reflect more on my desert roots lately... maybe especially so since that is when my pre-Internet memories are from.)

out in the forest, we spread out and worked on all fours to extract the ivy. the whole experience brought a lot of mixed feelings for me, due to my past stewardship work, and the grief, learnings, & transformations that come with it. i also made a sad mistake, which is inevitable. that being said, i enjoyed connecting with the land and community there. i'd been feeling called to make the trip up for years, and now was the right time.

chickadees wondered what we were up to, spiders ran and hid, tiny mushrooms persisted, and the native landscape seemed to breathe a bit more easily in the end. a few people expressed gratitude towards the ivy for bringing us together, which is the right way to orient towards this kind of work in my opinion.

at the very least, we need to open up more spaces for discussing the interactions, beliefs, and feelings that present themselves through this kind of work...

3.22.2026

on Friday, i attended Ballet Victoria's 'Rite of Spring' showcase to see Gwagwadaxla's new dance work, 'Movement 74'. i've not really been to many contemporary dance performances before, and have previously not felt particularly connected to the genre, but was genuinely excited to see this one.

before 'Movement 74', the curtains rose for a performance based around Max Richter's recomposition of Vivaldi's Four Seasons. this actually brought tears to my eyes, because i have deep memories associated with that work. it was also just a beautiful performance, and especially surreal since i'm recovering from being ill.

after that, Gwagwadaxla came out to introduce Movement 74 and really held the space as a good host (meaning of his Kwakʼwala name). the curtains rose again to an undulating group of dancers on the stage floor, wearing black outfits with splashes of white to embody the orcas. the backdrop became an underwater scene and the stage became milky with a bit of fog.

the performance was beautiful, powerful, intense. the dancers really evoked the grace, form, and sound(!) of an orca pod encountering the world in 2026.

i also had the opportunity to attend CREAN's 'Culture, Identity, & AI' conference, which i had originally been a bit wary of, thinking it would end up being another AI™️ hype train. but no no, true to the theme, it was a thoughtful, creative, intercultural exploration of the rise of AI, and how communities might respond to and rethink our relationship with LLMs etc. lots of thoughtful insights from a very diverse group of people, including someone who is blind and now uses AI tech to navigate the world & someone from Ireland who is using LLMs to practice Gaeilge.

overall, people are intrigued by potential benefits, but very concerned, overwhelmed, and in want of a more thoughtful approach to these technologies.

this coincides neatly with the work that i've been doing both with @softercomputing and a little event series that i started recently called "Defense Against the Digital Dark Arts". much more in this vein to come, but suffice it to say that we are clearly at a major junction right now with this stuff...

also, one of the other storytellers from 'What The Wild Taught Me', who happens to work at a cemetery (we discussed needing to connect re: The Library of Death), also works for CREAN! the synchronicities continue to align...

3.15.2026

my brother's been in town for the past couple of days, and although i've been trying to be a good host, i was also determined to do something special for pi(e) day this year - @softercomputing style. normally, @wingy and i try to bake an edible pie for 3.14, but this time around, she made some slices of paper pie (baked in the printer, sculpted by hand) while i prepared the filling:

~π~ usb sticks with my old pi(e) day montage (the 31.4m version)
~π~ an audio recording from 2014, where i taught my friends Dan & Evan how to make a good pie dough, and talk about how i got into piemaking
~π~ a "sounds of pi" mp3 clip
~π~ a txt file with one million digits of pi
~π~ a txt file with ingredients notes

i also tinkered with a couple of cute little pimoroni raspberry pi projects - making an eink pi(e) day 'card' via the og rpi and a pi quiz with python, a pi pico, + lcd display. i'd never done this sorta stuff before and it was really fun/satisfying to dip my toes in

we brought all of this to Softer Drink at 3pm in my old pie basket, and at 3:14pm we tried out the quiz. a lovely group of people gradually trickled in to join us (unwittingly) and it ended up being a really sweet little celebration

we gave away four slices, and saved some for a few others who couldn't make it

before bed, we also rewatched the montage on the rpi

3.7.2026

yesterday, i had the opportunity to attend Hundred Rabbits' wonderful Library Futures talk with my friend Jeffrey, and we thoroughly enjoyed it. so many overlaps with what i'm trying to cultivate with softer computing club. amazingly, just as i started to tell Jeffrey about how i wanted to connect with someone in that department about potential collabs, a fellow Softer Drink regular walked over and i found out that they work there!

i also brought my Playdate along and played a bit of the 100r game Oquonie while others grabbed food & chatted in the back

as i was playing, someone passing by struck up a nice chat with me and asked if i'm locally-based, etc. i found out that they're associated with DWeb, and ended up chatting with various others who'd made their way over from Vancouver for the event, including someone from folktechnology.org, which has also been on my radar

scuttlebutt came up multiple times, and anytime i meet someone who knows about ssb, my heart glows fondly. so cool to see where various butts have gone since the pandemic years... (and to see things like Poncho Wonky continuing on!)

many lovely chats later (they didn't know about special.fish! i rectified that, of course), i've decided that @wingy & i will try to make it over to DWeb Camp Cascadia this summer. maybe see some of you there?

shortly after, a small group of us, including 100r & www.taylor.town, made our way down to a room full of cool old computers in the library's collection. apparently these are just waiting to be visited and potentially used for local projects (!?). anyway, i'll for sure be connecting with Kula for potential softer computing field trips / events

as we were all getting ready to depart, i found out that Dev and Rek were headed into town, so i offered a ride (forgetting that the back of my car was full of stuff - oops). this gave us a proper chance to chat, and for me to explain our various mutual connections. we had a sweet conversation, and i invited them to Softer Drink later, since i'd planned to rendezvous with Jeffrey & Anna (Green Muse Herbs) there later. plus i thought it'd be nice for Kate to have a chance to meet them as well

later that night, Softer Drink became a lovely little afterparty space. we made origami while sipping radicchio & other softer drinks, chatted about dithered photography, permacomputing, etc. and some of the folks from DWeb stopped by as well. honestly, it was a very https://2025.algorithmicpattern.org/ scene, and i felt so inspired and grateful. oh, and i passed out some little softer computing intro.txt zines and explained a bit about what i'm trying to do with scc

Dev suggested that i join merveilles.town, and it feels like the right time for me to give the fediverse a proper chance

☼

today, i had a beautiful opportunity to sit & chat with Gwagwadaxla (movement74.ca) in a cozy corner at Habit about recurring themes / entities / spirits in our creative practice, and it was such a wholesome, resonant conversation--which could easily have gone on for many more hours. although there were some prepared questions, we found ourselves exploring a wide expanse of topics ranging from the small & personal, to the cosmic & spiritual, and to the local, political. also, we both love spiders, which is huge

we had previously only spoken in smaller chunks at events, and it really felt like this was a destined meeting of deep reciprocity. i think we both walked away feeling nourished and connected, and plan to go on a nature walk together in the near future.

oh, and let it be known that yesterday, the orb weaver that lives in my car, made a web on my steering wheel - which i gently modified, so that i could still drive - has now created another beautiful web right in front of my face, above the wheel. honestly, it's just so sweet, and not actually distracting enough to be dangerous, to have a little passenger spider in your field of view

not to mention, i'm set to share a story about spiders this upcoming week, and hopefully also make a little zine that wants to exist

i miraculously also didn't get a parking ticket, even though my time was uh, *very* expired. probably because of my lucky car spider!

3.5.2026

just had my first radio interview about The Library of Death, and i think it went well! most importantly, i felt really comfortable with the interviewer, and we were able to meet at Little Fernwood. of course, as it goes, afterwards i thought of a bunch of shoulda woulda coulda things that i didn't say, but it flowed naturally 90% of the way and felt pretty well-rounded, i think!

i was quite anxious leading up to this opportunity not because of the spotlight itself so much, but because i've been so deep in softer computing projects lately and haven't been wearing my death librarian hat as much recently...

anyway, i'm gradually feeling the relief of adrenaline and anticipation winding down, but will be headed over to Softer Drink shortly for a spot of tea to help level things out. and hopefully a good sleep tonight z_z

i can't even begin to write about the other surreal convergences and juxtapositions lately, so i'll end here...

2.22.2026

i recently mediated my first formal dialogue between someone and their computer (not 'AI™️', just ~*cpu*~) to great effect, and had the surreal sensation that certain slices of my life have become scenes from a Spike Jonze (e: or Michel Gondry?) film. do you ever have that feeling? "today, now, directed by _"

oh wow, i just had a flashback to a mysterious online acquaintance from many (20+!?) years ago who went by "TodayNow". i never learned anything directly personal about them, but they curated the most amazing videos from the wilds of the web, and we sometimes crossed paths in the comments commons to chat for a bit before heading back out to continue foraging. i was also mildly obsessed with their ~name(s) & general aesthetic.

i remember that they also had a shape association - <> maybe? or a diamond and a circle... hmm... hang on...

*returns from the Wayback time machine*

ah yes, it was "◊●", and i made this homage (each box was a link) - one of my earliest ascii arts, i think:

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surprisingly & unsurprisingly, i posted that on Feb 20, 2010, of all days (on spacecollective). posted again today, now. yesterday of yesterday, then.

TodayNow also went by "InReverse", "smallscreen", "circulate", and "M". maybe they are now here, somewhere in the special.fish sea...

grief/melancholy about people who you only met as online aliases & then lose touch with, or they vanish is very particular... i wonder who maybe feels this about my old aliases...

*etymology research*

just had a moment of self-doubt, wondering whether or not i've been misusing the term 'alias' after all of these years, and was pleased to read that the Latin etymology carries the root meanings:

"otherwise called",
"at another time",
"in another way,
under other circumstances"

feels right ◊●

1.26.2026

i had a wonderful time at The Strange Hour! i didn't even have to use a microphone,
which was a big plus, and even though i wasn't able to use the projector as i'd planned,
my computer put on a great performance for a full house. lots of lovely people came over
to chat with me after my talk, and i left feeling relieved and energized (& zonked hard
that night).

admittedly, i was feeling quite anxious and restless leading up to this as a result of
some... let's just say, strange digital miscommunications and manifestations. but as it
so often goes, all was well when we got together in person. vā prevails.

thank you ira, Keith, & co!

not being on Social Media™️ sometimes feels like coming from an exotic, faraway country
or planet that some people hear whispers about and sometimes debate whether or not it is
a real place. especially being invited to talk or perform at an event where everyone
wants to know how to 'find you'. in so many eyes i see the yearning to journey to these
rumored, fantastical digital lands - over the garden wall, where fish are special and
the environment is wwwild.

but, rumor has it, these strange places are not so far as it seems, and the whispers are
growing louder as secret passageways see growing foot traffic. maps are being drawn, new
tunnels are being built, tools are being passed around, people are gathering, and
flowers are growing through the cracks in the pavement.

listen closely to the hum. the tune is shifting... perhaps..

1.9.2026

. __.....__
.'| .-'' '.
.| < | / .-''"'-. `.
.' |_ | | / /________\ \
.' || | .'''-. | |
'--. .-'| |/.'''. \\ .-------------'
| | | / | | \ '-.____...---.
| | | | | | `. .'
| '.'| | | | `''-...... -'
| / | '. | '. _..._ __.....__
`'-' '---' '---' .' '. .--./) .-'' '.
.| .-,.--. . .-. . /.''\\ / .-''"'-. `.
.' |_ | .-. | __ | ' ' || | | |/ /________\ \
_ .' || | | | .:--.'. | | | | \`-' / | |
.' |'--. .-'| | | |/ | \ | | | | | /("'` \ .-------------'
. | / | | | | '- `" __ | | | | | | \ '---. \ '-.____...---.
.'.'| |// | | | | .'.''| | | | | | /'""'.\ `. .'
.'.'.-' / | '.'| | / / | |_| | | | || || `''-...... -'
.' \_.' | / |_| \ \._,\ '/| | | | \'. __//
`'-' `--' `" '--' '--' `'---'
.-'''-.
' _ \
. / /` '. \
.'| . | \ '
< | | ' | ' .-,.--.
| | \ \ / / | .-. |
| | .'''-.`. ` ..' /_ _ | | | |
| |/.'''. \ '-...-'`| ' / | | | | |
| / | | .' | .' | | | '-
| | | | / | / | | |
| | | | | `'. | | |
| '. | '. ' .'| '/|_|
'---' '---' `-' `--'

later this month, i'll be onstage at a brunchtime variety show called The Strange Hour
talking about life, death, and the afterlife in the digital age. if you're in the
Victoria area, come say hi. if you're far away from here, please say hi to someone else
in your local area and perhaps ask them a spooky or strange question about death &
digitality on my behalf.

last year, i kept being invited to speak publicly and it seems like that trend will
definitely continue this year. public speaking doesn't come naturally to me at all and i
feel like i have to coax my inner hermit out of the cave every time. (microphones are
especially awkward for me, and i haven't felt truly comfortable holding one since i
spoke at my aunt's celebration of life 15 years ago. but that was pure emotional
adrenaline.)

that being said, this is a good challenge for me. an important one. the kind of exercise
that i can feel building muscle in the right places, despite the hermit's hesitancy. it
reminds me of my time at Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co & Redmond Library, when i
experienced a massive amount of growth and bountiful community after a dark chapter of
isolation, despair, and atrophy.

i feel the Mórrígan's call to courage and sovereignty. i suppose this year she'll be
riding the Fire Horse. quite the combination...

but the snake hasn't fully shed its skin yet. i'm also reminded of that daily ~~

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|[+]o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o° [ chat.burbles] °o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o°o[v1.2]|
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| |
| o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o° |
| ° [3.5 '26 ] °° |
| o o |
| ° ~leaf message delivered! jonathan was intrigued °o° |
| o to hear about this special.fish connection :^) o |
| ° o° ° |
| o also, ~wingy is pretty sure that she stayed at o |
| o your house in oaxaca in like 2017? her brother o|
| ° ° is kevin romain o° |
| ° °° |
| o & cool! let's try out special.fish.mail! o |
| ° i actually printed an ascii postcard to send to °o°|
| o ~elliott some years back, & have been wanting to o |
| ° o° do something else like that ° |
| o o |
| o maybe just write a message to ~softercomputing o |
| ° ° and add some sort of ascii art if you'd like. o° |
| ° we'll be setting up a little mailbox at softer °° |
| o drink soon, where people can send/receive small o |
| ° printed messages °o° |
| o o |
| °o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° |
| |
| |
| o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o° |
| o [3.8 '26] o |
| ° o° ° |
| o ~leaf sweet! i've never been to oaxaca, but o |
| o would love to visit someday. so kind of you o |
| ° ° to invite us :^) o° |
| o o |
| ° we'll be in touch for sure if we're able to make °° |
| o a trip your way. meanwhile, yes, let's have o |
| ° some fun here in the special.fish.sea ~~~☆~~~ °o° |
| o o |
| °o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° |
| |
| |
| o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o° |
| o [4.26 '26] o |
| ° o° ° |
| o oh, hey, ~jeffy! so happy to see you swimming o |
| o around here now too hehe o |
| o o |
| ° really sweet to see the Salish Sea special.fish °° |
| o school growing lately :^) o |
| o o |
| °o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° |
| |
| |
| o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o° |
| o [5.17 '26] o |
| ° o° ° |
| o @leaf, your seasonal palette log is so nice! o |
| o looking forward to seeing the hexes of may :^) o |
| o o |
| ° really sweet to see the Salish Sea special.fish °° |
| o school growing lately :^) o |
| o o |
| °o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° o ° |
| o |
| . <☉,>{ |
| |
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| ___________________________________________________ |
| }<,☉> < ... | |
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